freezing....

today, it was ZERO degree for the whole day and it was foggy....it was freezingly cold and the heater is useless... here is some pictures...taken around 1pm...

hehehe! from this picture, i can only think of one thing.....CHRISTMAS is here!!!! i cant wait for christmas~~ ermm...by the way, i am not christian...hahhah! just someone trying to have fun and enjoy the atmosphere~ i guess it'll be snowing again tonight...

erm...by the way, my coursemates are still calling me...i wonder why they cant text me instead of calling since i hadn't been answering any calls...see? i have the willpower of not picking up calls...and i didn't even sign in for msn...muahahhahahha! i guess i need to be fair to everyone, so i didn't pick up their calls, so i shouldn't be chatting around either...i will continue to MIA for a few days...to spend some time alone...with no one yapping...it felt so good to take things easily and it just seemed like i am the one controlling my own time...rather than being dragged around doing stuffs for other people....

blessing or headache?

i had just received an email from my Professor stating that there will be a preliminary interview for placement during May....i had no idea if the interviewer (s) is/are from different companies or our own lecturers....

just when i dont have the mood for talking, i need to go for an interview...hahha! just my luck.... this may just be the message telling me that i should stick to being my old-self....the chatterbox who never stop talking nonsense...

hmm....though i had no idea about the interview, i dont seem to be nervous at all....i wonder why....i am already in the holiday mood i guess! hahahha! i cant wait for christmas~ everyone is asking me out~ yay! Cant wait for christmas celebration~ hahahhah!

me, myself, & i.....

these days, i just dont feel like chatting with anyone (either msn or face to face)...yea...and i dont know why...i even silent both my hps and not picking up any calls and returning any smses....i dont know why, dont ask me...

i didnt blog yesterday, neither pick up calls nor attended any classes.... wow...talk about being anti-social...hhahah! even today, my mood is still the same...at least i blogged...hahahha! i did nothing...i stayed in my room for two days...erm... looking out the window....but at least i did chat with my housemates for a while and did some cooking and stuff... i feel like a 60 years old, grumpy old lady stuck in a 23 years old's body....hhahahha!

anyway, my coursemates had been calling me (i dont know for what god damn reasons).... make a guess? the assignment due next friday....this is the worse assignment of all...probably due to lotsa research gathering, understanding, software utilising and of course, how to interprete the data (this is not as easy as it sounded)...the data is about all the atoms and their positions in the protein and you'll have to know which atom bonded will give you the catalytic sites, subsites as well as providing stability and correct conformation of the structure...

i will DEFINITELY REJECT helping them this time...i am sorry, but i really cant help you guys...BECAUSE:
1. everyone is doing different protein
2. it's IMPOSSIBLE for me to read all the materials and understand their protein
3. it's IMPOSSIBLE to read more than 50 journals for each protein within a few days
4. there are 7 coursemates ringing me for this
5. 7 coursemates + myself multiplies by at least 50 journals =400 journals minimum

see the above calculation? a minimum of 400 journals to read? impossible to help...i am sorry, but this time, i cant be SAVIOUR anymore...you guys gotta move your ass and stop being so lazy... i cant spoon feed you guys all the time...i think i had done more than enough for the past few assignments and i am very tired DUE to their laziness...

YAY! at last!! i learnt to say NO! but....i didnt actually said that YET...i had been avoiding their calls only...hahahhaha! hopefully nothing happens on monday...PLEASE have MERCY on me...i am just another normal human being....i am going to pray real hard starting from today till next friday....PLEASE....dont ask me questions regarding assignments...i feel bad not to answer or teach, so i rather they dont ask me...just in case i give in and agreed to teach them...

ALL of you MUST pray for me!!! ALL!!

being FFKed

I had been FFKed (Fong Fei Kei aka being let go an aeroplane- literal translation from cantonese).....by who? my partner whom is supposed to be presenting some DNA sequencing topic with me! damn!

basically, this 'thing' did nothing! i prepared the whole damn slides and he didn't turn up for the presentation! last week, i reconfirmed with him about his attendance for this presentation! he was supposed to meet me up on monday and share some research we had done! this damn damn damn 'thing' didnt even reply my email, my sms and calls! he better de dead, or i'll make his life suffer a hell more than mine! argh!!!! anyway, i had to make up an excuse for him on why he didnt turn up for the presentation! (i didnt know what happen until now).....

From this lesson, i learned that we should be prepared for the worst...i was so damn busy with my assignments, he didnt even manage to get his ass here for a presentation?! argh!

i guess i am so mad due to another reason..which makes me double mad! know what? i was in the IT room to print out my proposal thingy and this nigerian guy suddenly just put his hand behind my back and when i turn, his face was like just an INCH away...no, no, correction, should be a centimeter away! Thanks to my pancaked-face (not as protruding as caucasians), we didnt make any contact! damn! i hate guys like this! i didnt even know him!!!!! he is just a hi-bye friend nothing else...i was so busy and he kept on yapping beside me...by that time, i was kinda furious and i said 'look, i am very busy, can we talk some other time? i need to turn in this proposal like in 10 minutes...sorry, catch up with ya later'......

i know i sounded harsh, but i am really in a hurry! and u know what's the best part?? he return after 2mins (i think) and said 'can you teach me about gene mapping?'

yea, i know what you guys are thinking.....what the heck! i just said i am busy! then i said 'i can teach you later, but not now, i am very busy'.....then, he returned to his computer and after what seems like another 2 mins to me, he returned again 'can i borrow your calculator?'

Damn! at that point, i really wanted to ask him to shut the *tut* up! BUT, i managed to control my anger and fished out my calculator from my bag....and even passed it to him with a smile...argh!

not to mention, when i attended the lecture, he kept on asking 'connie, are you okay?', 'are you alright?' , 'what is that you have to pass up?' bla bla bla....he just keep on yapping.....and i was like 5 seats AWAY from him with his friend in between us...yea, initially, it was like 8 seats in between us....but two noobies forced me to move over....

and plus, today...i went to hand in one of my proposal and my tutor was really super-duper pleased with it...he kept on praising the porposal and my another coursemate, (both of us under the same tutor) and she was annoyed...my tutor turned to her and say 'yours was good, but there are still rooms for improvement'...

then, when we left the room, she snatched my proposal and ask 'can i read it?'.....i was like...you robbed me and you are asking if you can take it? weird? then, in the lecture, she complained to her pals that our tutor keep on praising my stuff and didnt really talked about hers...then she complained and complained and complained....

then, her BFF, came over to me and said 'you did very well, didnt you? i heard..bla-bla-bla'
i really wanted to tell everyone to shut the *tut* up!! ....i guess that's why i am so mad today....

anyway, everything is over....and i can just hope for a better tomorrow....

something to be shared...

hmmm...human health state is getting worse nowadays...due to DNA mutations, tumour growths are induced....hopefully some anti tumour protein can be generated to cure cancer...and that would be a miracle...for your information, a potent cytotoxin known as BS-RNase had been developed and it's currently undergoing clinical trial (phase 1 & 2)to CURE cancer....however, it causes some side effects....(eg: degeneration of testicular tissues, affect embryonic growth as well as the maturation of oocyte)....

so, here come my research...recently, i had found out that a potential cytotoxin, lactoribonuclease, had been isolated. It has similar molecular weight and N-terminal amino acid protein as BP-RNase....So, the experiment i'll design is to engineer the protein into dimer, trimer and possibly tetramer form...(rational? BS-RNase (dimer) active, but non-specific cytotoxin, BP-RNase (monomer) lower cytotoxin activity, but more specific).....so, i'll just engineer the protein structure and test its activity....

i can only propose this research, but not to conduct it due to Human Tissue Act and i am not yet a biotechnologist...MOREOVER, i had tonnes of assignments waiting for me...

currently, i am also doing research on production of antibodies from plants and animals (eg: anti-S, insulin, hepatits B)...it's all possible~~

ps: i am actually praying that my coursemates wont be calling me up in the middle of the night again....i really need some time off!!

miracles......indeed

okay, lets start off with happy stuffs...

Today, it was raining cats and dogs in the morning, which makes it freezingly COLD! Anyway, i managed to drag myself out of the bed and bath...One of my housemates invited her twin brothers to stay for the weekend...Since I was quite busy, i didnt have the time to talk to them...So, i went out after bathing to buy some chocolates (some = 12 bars)....Since they are so cute (and the fact that i feel bad for ignoring their existence for the past 2 days), i gave them my chocolates~ nice of me? yea.....i gave each of them 4 bars with different flavours...and i am left with 4 bars....here comes the bad news.....

i FINISHED the 4 bars in a day....which made me saturated with chocolates right now and i think i really need to QUIT chocolates....i had been saying this for a long time, but i didnt really take any action....hm...i had been doing some observation on myself, and i found that i am too obsessed with chocolates that i had been eating chocolates everyday!! seriously, i need to quit..argh! anyway, toss this thing aside...

i finished my assignments~ HOWEVER, there are a few adjustments to make (final touch ups)... and i am quite satisfied with it...i managed to design an experiment for potential anti tumour protein....but i still need to come up with details though...roughly, i know what i am doing, but i need to search for more sources so that i know how to alter the protein...kinda tough...but i must do it! who knows i can create miracles for those who need them? after all, i had been blessed with a lot of miracles...and i hope i can give others miracles too....but too bad, what i did will only be a proposal as i am not a PhD student...

needed a break...

i had been battling with my assignments nonstop while my coursemates had been busy throwing questions at me....kinda headache with them calling me at the middle of the night (around 1am) just to ask some questions....i am wondering, why cant they start other assignments and call me at decent hour instead? that's kinda inconsiderate, right?

anyway, i had been doing assignments for more the 7 hours straight today! but of course, with my life-sustaining source with me all the time (chocolates)....i had been doing this since thursday and managed to finish 2 assignments...anyway, i planned to go for shopping spree after being tortured like this....i need to restock my chocolates....(main purpose)...

i kept dreaming about home and both my grandpas! It has been a few days and i had been dreaming of them in different scenarios, of course...hahhaha! i guess i was too tired for the last few days...and not to mention a bit homesick due to some inconsiderate people who keep on talking about Malaysia food.....hmmppphh!!! anyway, the WESTERN food are nice too~ i wont let you guys keep on tempting me like this!!

yesterday, a long lost friend contacted me so suddenly that i am shocked to see him msn me~ anyway, i wish him best of luck in everything.....

better continue on my assignments... let's just pray that i can finish it ASAP~~

yikes!

i know i shouldn't be blogging since i had so much assignments due on monday...but i have to release the anger in me before starting my work! (yea, that's right, ANGER, not STRESS).....i am not stress by the amount of courseworks...but, rather, being driven to madness by my coursemates...

It should have been a GREAT day tomorrow because I had NO class! yay!! hoorrayyy!!!

BUT, the sad news is that I need to head off to LIBRARY to help my coursemates with their courseworks...I haven't even touch anything yet...and they are asking me to go library to teach them how to analyse results from the experiment we had done the other day...if my lab partner ask me to go, i think i SHOULD go since both of us will be using the same results...but no plagarism...or else, we'll be downgraded by a CLASS! imagine!! not a few marks! Anyway, almost all my coursemates asked me to go and teach them...i felt a bit weird, as i won't be using the same results as theirs...MOREOVER, my lab partner complained about having them around...i am stuck in between...my lab partner asked me to meet her up ONLY...not them.. although she knew they are all dragging me to the library tomorrow...i don't know how to sort things out right now...so, i guess i'll just leave it like that and go with the flow....

The amount of time i had been to the library for this month is practically more than the amount of time i had been to the library for the past 20++years of my life! Talk about pathetic....BUT one thing i love about this library is that YOU can bring FOOD, SNACKS, & DRINKS and there is even a cafe inside the library itself!

Since i am chocoholic, the only thing keep me surviving inside the library is HOT CHOCOLATE and CHOCOLATES....yea....hahhah!

hmm..and there's a bad news....i don't know where this Nigerian guy from the Uni got my number, and he had smsed and called me...(obviously, i didn't pick up his call, that's why he smsed)....i hate people giving out my numbers before notifying me...damn! another one for me to avoid...sounds a bit anti-social, but i rather be anti-social than dragging myself to another shitty situation where thousands of 'lalats' buzzed around me~

whew! feel a lot better now.....so i better start my assignments now...

uneasiness....

it seems like more and more troubles will be stimulated....Today, I had a lecture from the external examiner who judged our presentation last week....the moment he saw me, he recognised me right away as one of the student who presented last week... all the while in his lecture, he kept mentioning about the presentation since the lecture he taught was connected to what some of us had presented....

Halfway through his lecture, he gave a 30mins break....i was happy as i really needed a break (to listen to my mp3)......but he just sat directly opposite of me and asked 'you were one of the presenter and you presented about plantibodies, right? It made some impacts and i can remember your presentation well...it was stunning and brilliant...' (i didn't really think it was that good...coz any of TARCians would have done better....

Then, he started discussing everything I think about biotechnology (as if I am an expert who obtained PhD).....he discussed all sorts of issues with me and what he did to support GMP....in the class, there are also BSc students as well as my coursemates...they listened as both of us discussed about the issues and how to genetically modified the plants....i am lucky that i knew some theories and were able to talk to him about it... after the resuming of the lecture, he asked me a few questions while lecturing....as if to ask for my confirmation on the point...i felt awkward...he is the lecturer, right? but he is a really great professor as he really explain his stuff well....

the real battle begin after the class.......EVERYONE was like...'hey, he remembered only your presentation!', 'sounds like he is going to take you as a PhD student', 'hey, our group project will be single-handed by you', 'the presentation for next week, whom you gonna team up with?'

i dont know how to answer any of the questions....since i am the late comer for the course, i had to choose which group i wanted to join for the group presentation next week... now, i really dont know how to choose...as i dont want to hurt anyone's feeling and i had been thinking of random drawing of group...but it would be like...a bit weird and too self-centered? i am confused...tomorrow i have to face this thing again...they'll definitely force me to choose...

and there is a girl, she had been clinging on to me for everything! as lab partners for every subject!! the bad thing is that....i had to teach her the basic of micropipetting....she even asked me to go to her apartment to do da prac reports with her....it's killing me....

now that everyone knows i taught another coursemate at the library the other day, everyone is asking me to meet them at the library!!!! i felt like....being forcibly dragged into this shitty situation and i really wanted to say ' I HATE LIBRARY'.....help.....i am suffocating here....argh!! i love to collect books, but i just cant stand library...i dont know why, dont ask....

is it a wrong decision to continue master? i am wondering....but who cares! i had chosen this path, and i will finish what i had started! i will graduate!!!

Gambateh!!!! hopefully my luck don't give up on me before the programme finishes...hahha! AND BELOW ARE MY PILLARS OF STRENGTH...who guide, protect, care, nurture, and most of all, shower me with never-ending hugs, kisses, love and happiness all these years...Love you guys...a lot..

For you, i'll definitely make it through the rain....

Everytime i felt lost, i just need to look at you guys, and i will definitely find my way HOME...

tired, exhausted..but cant sleep

it's 3.15am in the morning....and i had just arrived my residence hall....i am so tired...but i just cant sleep...hmmm....headache...i think i should treat myself better tomorrow by buying more chocolates...hahhaa!

yea, call me chocoholic~~ i am used to it...hhahaha!

unbelievable.....it's a miracle...

All i can say is....UNBELIEVABLE....yea, it is... guess where am i blogging in the middle of the night? I am in the LEARNING RESOURCE CENTER aka LIBRARY....sounds impossible? yea...it does sound impossible to me...i cant believe i am in the library blogging!

Of course, i won't step into the library unless i am forced to do so...hahhaha! yea, i am here waiting for one of my coursemates...She said she wana meet me at 8pm at the library...but she changed her mind and postponed it to 10pm....so, just in case she might be waiting, i came here at 9.45pm....now, it's 11pm and she hasn't even called me.....and i am here waiting for her...i called her, but unanswered...luckily, i bought some chocolates with me (my life sustaining resources....as well as the only thing that's keeping me from falling asleep)....argh!

she wanted me to teach her how to use a programme...some primer designing programme.... umm... actually, i don't know how to use it either...but after battling for a few hours, i figured out how to do it....i didn't planned to learn this early...as i am kinda busy with other stuffs....since she asked for my help, i might as well learn it and teach her...whew....headache...

hmm...forgot to explain what is this programme about....i am supposed to design 3 primer which can locate the gene of interest (IL3 - interleukin)...then, i am supposed to design a restriction enzyme which cleave the gene at a specific site...of course, without cleaving my SNP...and this retriction site must cut only once as we do not wish to cut the gene into several fragments...zzzZZZZ

i am dozing off...i don't feel like explaining anymore....tired...anyway....this thing remind me of Leong....B*tchy Leong....(a guy lecturer back in TARC)....hahhaha! Von and Jojo hate him a lot, i tink....hahhaha! that's how he got his nick...

i am still waiting for my fren...she better come....or else...i will be really pissed off.....so pissed off that i'll buy 1kg of chocolates to eat...and finish it in 4 hours accompanied by watchin animation~

backstabbers....

it has been quite sometime since i last encounter backstabbers...hhaha! okay...so, continue from tuesday.....i got my presentation marks on monday, awarded best presenter...end of story...

tuesday...i went to meet my personal tutor for my proposal thingy around 12pm... then, i had a presentation at 2pm...after meeting my professor, i went to the IT room to finish my presentation slides...yea, i know i am kinda toooo last minute for that....since i am already in the IT room, i might as well sign in my messenger and chatted with my sisters and friends....(i am multitasking - doing presentation slides as well as chattin' )....suddenly, two of my coursemates (F & Z) stood behind me and one of them said..

"I can't believe the one who did last minute slides and preparation being the topper!"

"Yea, like, we prepared so much earlier than you did. You are always on MSN and i can't believe it. We are going for a practise right now. So, bye."

What the HECK? I can definitely feel the sarcastism in their intonation!! I admit that i did everything last minute but what does it have to do with them? I didnt plan to tell them my marks for presentation....but F just stand behind me while i am reading my email and saw the marks...she asked for confirmation right in front of everyone....i dont mean to announce it...but she announced it to every single soul in the room!!! i dont mind my marks being announced, but i can she at least feel for those getting a lower marks? damn her!

Not enough with the criticism, those two went to see one of the examiners for the presentation and said that they are not satisfied with the marks! I overheard them saying "I think i did so much better than that, and the marks given is too low for me! Or i can do another presentation again next tuesday and remark it for me.."

Gosh! I am dealing with high school stuffs! HELLO??? we are doing masters programme right now.....Shouldn't both of them at least be less competitve and MOVE ON? argh!!! Luckily i had other coursemates who don't seemed to mind about the marks...i really hated this stuff a lot!!!

but seriously, these few days, i kept receiving comments like "you are the topper", "you studied everyday, right?", "First class student, eh?"......etc..

i am so sick of these comments...what did i do? i did nothing!!!! I really hate it when people think that i am a topper or whatever....and these few days, whenever there are paired work, everyone is very eager to join me...come on!!! I am really sick of this....also, if there are any question, they ask me....i really don't know about anything...and yet, they think that i am a superhuman??

I just hope that these comments will fade ASAP! i don't want to deal with this kiddy situation anymore....come on, GROW UP! Learn to acknowledge, congratulate and be happy for others achievement instead of being so sarcastic!

lucky me...but....

i am so lucky today^^ i am awarded the best presenter! i am so happy and i cant be happier...hhahaha! however, a part of me is very unhappy....i hoped that the lecturers had not announced it in front of everyone...i hoped that they can tell me personally to save the embarassment....argh! and the external examiner shouldn't have complimented me in front of all the coursemates....i dont know where to hide myself....at that moment, i just felt like digging a hole and hide....it's nothing shameful, but considering the feelings of other coursemates, i think they shouldn't had complimented like that...

all my coursemates complimented and congratulated me....but i just dont feel so good....i didnt put in as much effort as they did, yet.....this happens....argh! kinda feel like not worth for the compliments.....

something troubled me though....i am the one being bombarded with the most questions! well, i wonder why the one being bombarded with tonnes of questions being the best presenter? i just felt like being ambushed by the lecturers equipped with AK-47...worst still, rocket launchers.....argh! i am so lucky that i had been trained by Dr. Banu....she equipped me with bullet-proof vest as well as reflector-shield which repels almost any ammunition from all sorts of weapons....

opps...it sounded more like a war than a presentation huh? the truth is, IT IS A WAR!

Tomorrow, i think i'll be bombarded with more questions since they saw my presentation today...i am kinda worried that they might have higher expectations on me for tomorrow...argh!!! gonna prepare the slides after bloggin'

pray for me!!!

some people just dont understand...

wow...i cant imagine how some people just dont get it.....but i admire their courage and will power....

i dont know how to tell this story...but basically, it's like this....

A and B was in a long distance relationship....A and B broke up....B wanted A back, but due to some problems, A refused to get back together but willing to stay as friends...but now, B wanted more....B is planning to board a plane and reconcile the relationship with A.....i hope A can reconsider their relationship and everything will be fine... i pitied B, but after what B has done, i doubt if there will be any chance of reconciling....

anyway, all the best to this couple...ex-couple or future-to-be-couple...

these stuffs are really troublesome...i am appreciating single life....less stuffs to worry about^^ talk about my own stuff....tomorrow, i'll be presenting Plantibodies...i am not sure if i got it on the right track...but it seemed okay for me....thanks to a friend who gave me some rough ideas on how the degree presentation will be...i am at least make sure my stuffs are well above degree level...after all, it should be harder compare to degree level...

i better stop blogging and get some proper rest before my presentation tomorrow...i dont know why i am not worried at all...i should be worried....i had just done the slides...no rehearsal, no double check....basically, i think it is a piece of sh*tty presentation....let's see if i will be bombarded with tonnes of questions....praying for the professors to be kind....hm...almost forgotten...there will be an external examiner on the spot...damn...god bless me^^

attention to food lovers^^

hey! suddenly feel like blogging about food...hohoho! trying to make everyone drool over my blog...yea, coz i know i cant make you all drool over my pictures, so i might as well make you all drool over the food!!! muahahaha! i am EVIL...and i know that....carefully observe the food below^^

escargots...of course..France...

pepperoni pizza from Italy...

Seafood pasta...Italy

Lagsanae....italy


tong fen, Paris

Salmon fish with lobster sauce..Paris

Fruit dessert, Rome

Mixed Grill, Vatican City..

Seafood Rice, Rome

Chef's Specialty Lamb Chop, Paris

Grill Fish, Venice

Forgotten da name...Venice

Piadina, Venice

McD, Italy

Genovase, Venice

Tiramisu, Vatican city

Chocolate cake, Vatican city

Fungae Pizza, Italy

Bacon Pizza? Italy...hahha!

venice specialty

Love of my life, Gelato^^ italy

My love.....more Gelato^^

More Gelato^^ i love it!!!!! you guys must try this out in italy...i fell in love because of the gelato...

ONE MORE IMPORTANT THING....you MUST try DALLOYAU...in Paris...MUST!!! i will definitely be going back to Paris because of DALLOYAU....i love it...i really love it!! anyone wana join me for eating?? i seriously recommend dalloyau...the pastries are fabulous...with 200 years of history, who can beat you? i love DALLOYAU! but seriously, after eating it...your 'lo yau' will be very 'dai'.....that's why it's named 'dai lo yau' - translate into cantonese..you'll know what i am saying...hahhaha! kidding ler...but i'll still love it...hahhaha!

PS: there are still some food that i missed out...i dont want to post up too much...i am droolin' hahhahha! i dont want to flood the whole Liverpool...hahhaha!

luck never leaves me...

i am so lucky....no dinner for today^^ hooray! due to my housemates.....they fought, so the dinner will be postponed to next friday.....since it is next friday, i can actually come up with some other excuses^^ yay! at least i am safe for this week...lucky the other guy didnt call up for the clubbing thingy...whew...

i dont know what to do with my handphone now...there is some faults in the battery...i have to keep on charging it to maintain the optimum battery...argh...i will be going to town and see if i can get a new battery...lucky that i have 2 hps...heheh! the old one is working properly...the new one is the troublesome one....argh...

feeling really sleepy right now...let's pray that there will not be any fire alarm for tonight...puuhhllleeeaasseeee~ i beg of you.....i dont want to run down and feeling half naked...argh!

3am in the morning...

yup....absolutely correct...it's 3am in the morning and i am bloggin...what exactly happened?? da damn stupid fire alarm goes off again! this time, i remembered my shoes...but i dont have the time to change my trousers....i am wearing a super mini shorts and an oversized t shirt....damn! still...i remembered my handphone...and the best part? i took my comforter along with me and run for 7 floors again~ argh!

it was the same unit causing the fire alarm...i think it should be due to smoking in the room...i dont know....but one thing for sure, policemen came, fire fighters came....i think the students are in deep shit right now....hmm...it's a pity for them....but i cant really pity them since this is the second time....

okie...gotta get some sleep...or i'll evolved into a panda soon...real soon....nitezzzzzz....

trust me, when i say trust me...

i guessed all my friends would have heard me saying this phrase....i dont know why, but everything i do, i dont liked to be questioned....especially when explaining a situation....i hate it when people tends to question me as if they dont believe what i'd said...if you dont believe what i'd said, then i think it will be useless to ask me in the first place....my parents know my eccentric behaviour and they dont throw tonnes of questions towards me....they respect my decision and they trust my judgement....same goes to my friends, my family and everyone who knows me by heart....

okay...today, i received a special sms wishing me good luck in exam...it may be late by one day, but still, it really cheered me up as usual...

it has been quite sometime that i last heard of my new 'didi' in Liverpool...and he just messaged me for a dinner or brunch on saturday for a catch up on our lives...i am glad that i helped him at the airport eventhough i dont know his name...i am glad that the help i offered is appreciated and he kept in touch even when both of us have stuff to be busy about....although i will be having lots of assignments and exam due next week, i think i should meet him up in case he need my help....since i know where the best place to shop, maybe i can be of some help... it doesnt cost much to help a person, but you get the best reward when they appreciate your help....just like how i am feeling right now...happy that i am helping someone when they needed help the most^^

tasks due....

i had just sat for an exam on tuesday...now i have to start preparing for 2 presentations, 1 laboratory report, 1 protein engineering project and another exam....argh....with the packed schedule, i just dont know where to start....my presentations will fall on 10th and 11th of november...and on 13th, i'll be having exam...by 17th, i have to pass up an assignment, 26th another exam...i hate the schedule....argh!

i am waiting for miracle....STOP THE TIME....yay! maybe i should just stop dreaming and get my @ss working...argh! though i felt a lot better...but i cant concentrate on my work...i just cant bring myself to start on any due task....i want to start, but i dont have the willpower to do it....FAILURE....argh!

no matter what, i'll get myself together ASAP! by the way, a guy asked me out for party this friday with his mates....i dont feel like going though...and on friday, that G guy will be cooking a dinner for 13 people?! i dont feel like going, but it's really hard to reject...what should i do?

but i really think that a guy that cooks cant really be that bad...at least he dont think himself as the 'macho' type and kitchen as women's place...the thing i dont like about some guys is that they think highly of themselves as the sole provider of the family, women stay home and take care of kids, they socialised, while women stay at home looking after the kids...what the hell??? if any guy dares to tell that to me, i am going to kick his @ss! i HATE gender discrimination!

and for a guy who once said that a girl should not further their studies, i will prove you wrong...if you still maintain this kind of thinking, you might as well dig a hole and bury yourself...coz you are preventing the advancement of the new generation^^ That is MY generation...i will wipe you off from the surface of the EARTH...you useless, selfish jerk!

PS: somehow, i feel like i am getting more n more agressive in my blog and i should reflect on myself....wow...what's happening?

angels n demons

VERSUS

we are surrounded by angels and demons everyday....once, i had this angelic friend...but due to some problems caused by a demonish act, i had to lose this angel....no matter what happens, i'd still wish this angel and the demon all the best in their future...hopefully everything will be cleared and everyone finds their own angels soon...

i used to have an aim in my life...i told a friend about this, and all that i get is asking me to wake up and face reality....my aim is very simple....to leave footprints in everyone's heart....i wanted to make a difference in a person's life even if it's a stranger...i really hope that my existence in this world will make a difference...hopefully a better one...make this world a better living place for all...i am not giving a speech as in beauty pegeant contest...and i hope everyone can try this out...you'll be happy if you can help someone....

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger..

hmm...after thinking it through, it wasn't such a big deal after all....umm....since that email doesn't even kill me, i guess it makes me stronger....i had never thought that there would exist such an immature person in this world....i guess she didn't know that a guy and a girl can be just close friends without any chemistry going on...i should just tell this girl my reason... it's a very simple reason..."A guy and a girl can remain friends as long as they find each other repulsive enough to be friends".....and so, i really find your guy repulsive enough to be just my normal friend, my dear...those hurtful words you wrote in the email, didn't hurt me, but it pointed how uncivilised you are and you should reflect on yourself...

and....i seriously don't understand why can you hate me when you had NEVER seen me before in your life??? gosh....at least explain to me why you hate me...hahhaha^^ coz i am a bit curious...i had NEVER seen you, i DON'T know your NAME, NEVER heard your VOICE.....vice versa...how can you hate a person like that?? wow! you are unbelievable...

i have one more announcement to make.....i will be joining a club dubbed 'Jerks Hating Club'.....everything is just making me more n more disappointed in guys...i am not saying there isn't a good one...i know there is a nice one...too bad, he isnt available anymore^^ wedding bells are ringing^^ and guys, if you know your jealous gf will kill an innocent person, you better keep ur @ss clean and stop asking girls out....

WTF!

i am posting this to a girl who has view my photo and i dont know from where you viewed me, i don't give it a damn! if you dare to email me with such a RUBBISH email to hurt my feelings, i DARE you to show who you are! why register a new email just to criticise me? if you like to scold people so much, go back, look into the mirror and scold, you physco!

i did nothing wrong and i am not scared to post this blog just for you to see! you can comment, i dont care! and ONE more THING, I HATE the LANGUAGE you USED!

exam^^

exam on this coming tuesday...4th of november...but...it's at 3-4pm i think...still not very sure about the time...um....yea, yea, i know, i know....how i can forget the time right? i also dont understand why i had forgotten the time, okay? who wants to forget their timetable?

anyway, since it's an afternoon paper.....it means i dont have to study till tuesday^^ i am so happy....oh yeah!!!! umm...by the way, mum, if you are reading this blog, just act as if you didnt see what i blogged^^

and for my sisters, dont you guys tell mum about it....hhahahha! anyway, i guess she knows me too well....THIS IS ME....muaxxx!

i have a really serious question for my friends...Is there a difference between eyeliner and eyebrow liner???? i thought it was the same thing...umm...i am not so sure now...damn! am i even a girl? tell me in msn, girls...

my friend, dont be upset^^

hm....still getting all sorts of msgs...and i dont know who are them actually...but who cares....as long as they dont call me, then it'll be okay...

again...guys really cause lotsa troubles....hate to see my friend in such a condition...just get over it...after what he'd done and he come back crawling? serves him right! it's up to my friend if she wants him back....but he cheated on her! he gave damn lame excuses for cheating! 'you are too busy with your Uni work and you dont have time for me..' what the heck?! i thought that jerk should've known my friend studied in the first place! what's wrong with doing Uni's work and not being able to go back hometown for a meet up? damn! another long distance relationship failure...anyway, it's just another lame excuse...he can come and meet her, right? why should the girl making all the scarifices? at least my friend is busy with Uni work and not busy going nuts after guys! (which is exactly what he did...going nuts over girls)

seriously, i dont trust guys anymore^^ i just dont.....coz as said by my another friend 'guys don't follow their brains, they follow their d*ck..'.....i think it's true as even my guy friends admit! and for the guys out there, don't be offended by what i had mentioned, as this is a personal opinion^^

maybe there are really guys who follow their brains, but they should be driven near to EXTINCTION...trust me^^ seen too much cases...hhahahha! and for girls out there, please....do not go and interfere a couple's life, back off! if he can dump his girlfriend for you, he can dump you for another girl...

oppsss...no matter what i said, it is based on observations not experiences....ahhaha! so, i may be wrong^^ who knows, you might just bagged the almost extinct creature^^ my best of luck to you my friend...dont be upset over this kind of stuff....you have more to worry than a stupid jerk^^

seriously deprived in sleep...

the reason??? my HOUSEMATES! i dozed off after i blogged this morning (like until 5am)...then, my housemates started to knock on my door at around 8am, i guess....they keep on throwing me questions and persuade me to follow their advices...argh! i wont give in no matter what! cant be follower forever and this is an impoartant part of my life, i dont wana end up with tonnes of break ups before finally settling for the 'right' one....

they keep telling me that the nice guy's name is G, 30 years old...having a double degree..(still studying one of the degree).....and he is nice...blablabla.....argh! the worst thing is that....this guy stay just right opposite my unit...once i open my main door, it'll be his main door! damn! i didn't even know that!!!! sh*t!

and for the J guy, he is a PhD student, 1st year...dunno bout his age...blablabla....argh! headache! and another O guy, is from Scotland...dunno what he majored in....23 years old...blablabla....the other guy, D, from Ireland...studyin IT i guessed...if i remembered it right...there are just too much information in one day...and i am not interested in knowing any of it...i wana sleep.....

ha-ha........not funny at all! you know what??? G, D,& O is staying right opposite my unit...talk about bad luck! and the J guy, they told me he stayed 2 floors below! sh*t....i am worried about bumping into any of them...from today onwards, i'll stay in my room...(as if i wasnt staying inside often...shesshh! seriously, i spend most of my time inside my room....)...it's not that i dont wana socialise....but i just wana stay out of troubles and i hoped to peacefully finish my master and bid sayonara to them ASAP!

after kepoing with me, my housemates now went to the guys' unit to kepo...sigh...more troubles...and one more thing....my housemate ordered me to text G before i sleep this morning...but i didnt...he ended up waiting! damn! felt guilty....but i really dont wana text him, coz i dont want more troubles coming...i dont know if my decision is correct, but at least i didnt lead him on...right? so what i did should be good for him, better for me, right? argh!

okie...enough of blogging....need to eat^^...my cure for worries....let's pray that nothing happen and it was all a mistake...they recognised the wrong person...yay!

ps: jojo, i think what you'd experienced for the past few months is what i am experiencing right now...argh...will talk to you P&C soon^^

deeper than deep SH*T !!!!!

nice costume...my housemate

i dont know his name..


he is heath ledger....

my make up, done by flick^^

cant get the whole dress though....

me and my costume..'bloody sexy doctor'

non human dancing in da living hall

doctor and diva^^

my costume....

damn...(this is the best word to express my feelings right now)....sh*t!!!!!!

it was only today that i know i looked nice (as in above average)....i attended this damned halloween party (which i shouldn't have).....as said by K (my housemate), she'll bag several guys....it didn't come true....and the worst part is.....my phone number had been passed around like hell!!!! i am going to die!!!! argh!!! one anonymous call can make such a fuss...imagine 20 times the trouble....i didn't do my own make up for halloween...as Flick help me...i had never ever used so much make up on my eyes before (i seriously don't know how to apply eye shadow).....i admit i do look nice after tonnes of make up, but i am still a simple girl compared to them...they looked fabulous!

anyway, after my number had been passed around, all of them decided to go clubbing....so, i am being dragged there...we went to MOOD..which is one of the best R&B club in town...each of us paid 6 pound per entry and went clubbin...i went to this place before but this time, it is packed!!! we arrived around 11pm and partied till 3.30am....it was tiring...but i liked dancing...lotsa guys bought me drinks and i just kinda pass it around to other girls...the more i pass it around, the more it kept coming to me! damn! i had no choice but to drink every drink offered! luckily, my dad equipped me with drinking skills which i dont get drunk easily....while i was dancing, there is this J guy keep askin me to dance with him! hell! i don't dance with guys! luckily, flick rescued me again and again and again....so many times....and there is another guy who guard around me (luckily...he is a nice one...didnt even touch me a bit)...thanks to him, i am safe^^ i just hate that J guy! he keep messagin me...i shut him off by saying i had a steady boyfriend...he asked 'why didn't he come?'....i stucked for a moment and said 'he is away...'.....

J said 'long distance isnt gonna work...you are very stunning, and cute'...since i am da 'bloody sexy doctor', he kept on taking my stethoscope and asked me to listen to his heartbeat! damn! i really wana tell him 'can you please F**k off? you have cardiovascular disease, wont live for long' argh!!!! but i cant say that right? i can only smile and do NOTHING! and da nice guy kept helpin me to push him away....it was really my luck that this guy came over and helped me....

in the club, as i walked by, the guys would call out to me and say he want a heart transplant...damn! arghh!! not once! from what i remember, it was like 6 to 7 different guys?!!! there r so many ppl dressing up so sexily..(you should know...British girls...the practically wear nothing)....my bother disturbing me?!....and as we were leaving, we had to walk down from 3rd floor (it's a 3 floors club), there are lotsa guys staring at me..i really felt so uneasy....and there are 3 guys suddenly touch my chin to turn me around and said 'you looked pretty, girl'...and others would suddenly touch my face....argh!!!! and there is a girl (i guess she called Lucy?)...a friend of da J guy, keep on holding on to me to dance with her...she wear a loud red lipstick and kissed me on da cheek! as if addicted, she kissed me thrice on the cheek! damn! argh!!! flick tried to drag her away....coz flick wana match make me with da nice guy...i keep dodging all night...and i am very tired...i didnt enjoy as much as i did back in Malaysia...i guess i miss jojo and winnee who are such a great dancer and very responsible dancer....whenever i danced with the both of them, i know we'll be alright eventhough we were surrounded by wolves...i missed you guys a lot.....

around 3.30am we walked home...in high heels, 1 degree! i am freezing!!! just 3 of us walked together (flick, nice guy and i)...the J guy wana follow, but luckily we lost him somewhere...i felt that i am very lucky as i am in luck...nothing bad happened (not as bad as i thought it would be)...just that my number had been passed around so much...i dont even know their names...sh*t....what am i supposed to do? change my number? headache...we'll wait and see...(don't move before the enemy does - chinese proverb)...ahhahaha!

anyway, it's a very good experience...i love the costumes, but i hate the guys!...gosh! shouldn't say i hate guys...sounds lesbian...hahha! i hate guys with motives...if being friends, i dont mind..i just dont wana be more than friends....

p.s: i am happy to receive all those flattering compliments, but it did not convinced me that i am pretty...i am just a simple average girl next door....and i dont wanna get all those attentions...

almost forgot! the clubbing pics will be uploaded some other time...coz i didnt take any photos...all taken by my housemates...wait till she pass it to me^^