blessing in disguise

i can't blog for the past few days because i was sick...although not fully recovered, i am able to blog and start doing my assignments...(after blogging, i'll start..)

I was really sick, and it wasn't normal at all....after having my dinner, i wanted to do the dishes...immediately after standing up, i felt dizzy and i thought it was just some balancing problem or blood pressure....then, i can feel my heart beat racing and my palms were sweating... i did panicked a little, but i managed to take the stethoscope and listened to my own heart beat...it was fine...after half an hour, my vision blurred and i vomitted...hahha! i am very sure it wasnt food poisoning...




i just felt really nauseous...in my mind, i cant stop thinking about all the assignments that i am supposed to be doing (especially the business group thing..)... i admit, i did cry when i was vomitting because i had to clean the toilet before i actually vomit! it was so dirty...and i think i had been playing tough and ignoring all those stresses that has been building up without my knowledge... being sick makes me feel so vunerable and lonely... i cant differentiate between reality and hallucinations... i kept hearing all those weird noises in my mind and i even thought two of my housemates came into my room to feel my forehead to see if i was having fever...

the next day, still feeling dizzy, i asked my housemates "did you enter my room yesterday with B?"

"Nope, B is at work and wont be coming back home until this afternoon"

So, i knew that i am hallucinating...hahha! i guessed it is because my mum and sis always touches my forehead whenever i am sick...so, i get this weird "dream"...then, my housemate hold my hand and said "you are having fever!"


umm...by the way, i dont even know i had fever until she told me...she gave me some medication and forced to me nap again...she gave me a wet towel and asked me put it on my forehead..i kept on drifting in and out of my dreamland and it really messed up my mind...i kept on dreaming about nonsense stuffs and a lot of calculations!! (it really kills your brain cells to keep on calculating some weird equations and talking nonsense to your imaginary friends...)


i was so scared that my mum would call me up! i didnt want her to know! i kept my skype sign in so that she'll assume i am watching some animation or something...my other friend told me that i might have low blood pressure too and asked me to drink some beverages to replenish my electrolytes and add more sodium in my diet..i guessed he was right...i drank Redoxon and some salt water and i feel so much better!

after going through this fever/low blood pressure (?? still not too sure), i actually feel so much better...maybe it's because i finally acknowledged the stresses caused by the barbarians and it is alright to collapse for once...eventhough i am still recovering, i feel so much stronger and ready to face all those assignments TODAY!

this ordeal is indeed a blessing in disguise...i had to go through hell to realise it's okay to cry and admit that I am weak...

PS: Mum & Dad, no worries, i wont be blogging about this unless i am perfectly fine...haha!

HAKUNA MATATA

what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger~